I know I packed light when I came here. Where did all this stuff come from? Amy bought ponchos for the kids and I bought a large tablecloth to use as a frontal for communion. I shouldn't complain about too much stuff. We're not leaving much behind.
So - basic truths. I've seen people living and working with very little. Everyone is living on the edge yet they manage to get by. It makes me angry about middle class anxiety. Is life so hard for us? Are we really so desperate? Yet I am not as challenged as I have been on other trips to Central America. Partly - I know what to expect. I think the difficulty for me is figuring out what I'm supposed to do about it.
I don't have any extraordinary skill to share or gift to make. I don't know how to persuade - not enough anyway. Maybe my growth is to know that God got me here and will show me the next step.
Patience - letting things unfold in God's time. Letting go of my own anxiety. I also need to be open to joy. What good things are waiting out there? What's the good news today? Do I preach this because I need to hear it?
God has offered and opportunity. I wonder what will happen next?
Friday, December 19, 2008
November 5 continued
We awoke to hear that Obama had won. I'm grateful. It was a landslide and a sweep of both houses. Now I hope the new broom sweeps clean. I hope that the aggressive media gives him the same chance they gave Bush. God help him!
I awoke with the frustration of a cold shower and a nosebleed. I know I need more time alone. Despite the minor irritations, I'm proud of myself for recognizing my own weaknesses and limits.
The trip back was not so interesting. I feel as if we are a stronger group. We are helpful and understanding of one another. We've been through a lot together. I appreciated two things today. We had some time to debrief with Bishop Ramos. We shared our mind and he shared his. He knows he has asked a lot from us. We know we have a lot of work to do. We'll see what happens. We also had time to debrief as a group. We have a lot to do but we also have to do it together.
We need to keep the goal in view. We need to use the gifts we all have. So I wonder, what's my job?
I awoke with the frustration of a cold shower and a nosebleed. I know I need more time alone. Despite the minor irritations, I'm proud of myself for recognizing my own weaknesses and limits.
The trip back was not so interesting. I feel as if we are a stronger group. We are helpful and understanding of one another. We've been through a lot together. I appreciated two things today. We had some time to debrief with Bishop Ramos. We shared our mind and he shared his. He knows he has asked a lot from us. We know we have a lot of work to do. We'll see what happens. We also had time to debrief as a group. We have a lot to do but we also have to do it together.
We need to keep the goal in view. We need to use the gifts we all have. So I wonder, what's my job?
November 5, the day after the election
I feel as if I have to write for two days. Yesterday we were finally able to do what we came for. We saw Tecusa. First a long drive. The roads were everything I expected about south America. Steep - winding - potholes - dangerous cliffs. There was wonderful scenery of the mountains. Is this a rain forest? plenty of cows and farms but exotic. We left with high spirits with music and laughter. Two hours later we were spent and not half way there.
We had a welcome break and a great lunch. The travel and uncertainty were taking a toll on me. I ordered crab - I wanted to try something new. I got a pile of rice on top of a boiled crab - and a hammer! Not fun. It tasted good though!
We made our way to the sea as we approached Esmereldas. Then we arrived at Tecusa. It was what I expected. A small, poor, village by the sea. The people have been given help by the government to own their houses - but they had to build them. The village is a collection of disarray. Some houses are finished while others are barely started. All are poor yet even in poverty there is a hierarchy.
I was surprised at the site. I hadn't realized how close the village is to the sea. The site for the church is quite small. The planned building will fill the space. The village seems to need it. It's heart is missing.
While it is wonderful that the government is helping the people to build homes - there is no help for anything else. The church would be a spiritual center but also a cultural and social center.
We took Gladys and Patricio along with us. Becky and Leslie shared gifts with the children - so many children! We met Flavio and Lukas who are priest and missioner there. Patricio showed the plans. He asked if it was OK to have one step instead of tree. In my broken Spanish I answered, "You're the engineer. I'm the priest. No se!" I'm happy to gatherthe resources but the church is for the people of the village, not me.
Evidently they want to work against the cultural tendency to set the priest apart. Good! I think that Gladys has already done that. It was clear that she loves the people and they love her in return.
I talked with Lukas and Flavio. I admit I was getting tired - not enough personal space or time. The people shared a meal with us. Langostinos and platinos. No hammer! We traveled to a hotel and wandered to the beach. That night we shared a bottle of wine and some M&M's. We're all tired. Amy and I talked with Patricio and Javier about US politics. CNN en Espanol told us Obama was winning. Then we slept.
We had a welcome break and a great lunch. The travel and uncertainty were taking a toll on me. I ordered crab - I wanted to try something new. I got a pile of rice on top of a boiled crab - and a hammer! Not fun. It tasted good though!
We made our way to the sea as we approached Esmereldas. Then we arrived at Tecusa. It was what I expected. A small, poor, village by the sea. The people have been given help by the government to own their houses - but they had to build them. The village is a collection of disarray. Some houses are finished while others are barely started. All are poor yet even in poverty there is a hierarchy.
I was surprised at the site. I hadn't realized how close the village is to the sea. The site for the church is quite small. The planned building will fill the space. The village seems to need it. It's heart is missing.
While it is wonderful that the government is helping the people to build homes - there is no help for anything else. The church would be a spiritual center but also a cultural and social center.
We took Gladys and Patricio along with us. Becky and Leslie shared gifts with the children - so many children! We met Flavio and Lukas who are priest and missioner there. Patricio showed the plans. He asked if it was OK to have one step instead of tree. In my broken Spanish I answered, "You're the engineer. I'm the priest. No se!" I'm happy to gatherthe resources but the church is for the people of the village, not me.
Evidently they want to work against the cultural tendency to set the priest apart. Good! I think that Gladys has already done that. It was clear that she loves the people and they love her in return.
I talked with Lukas and Flavio. I admit I was getting tired - not enough personal space or time. The people shared a meal with us. Langostinos and platinos. No hammer! We traveled to a hotel and wandered to the beach. That night we shared a bottle of wine and some M&M's. We're all tired. Amy and I talked with Patricio and Javier about US politics. CNN en Espanol told us Obama was winning. Then we slept.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
November 4, election day
We've been gone 48 hours and I feel like we've been here much longer. I still feel like I'm shedding layers of cultural differences. I'm getting used to living with less. It sort of makes me obsess about planning. Is this what poverty is like? Every step, every meal, every night's sleep is a careful doling out of resources.
Perhaps that is a kind of negative romanticizing of poverty. I think true poverty is a lack of choices. Therefore I am rich. Everything I have done is a choice. I choose to follow a call. I chose to come on this trip. Therefore I choose to take the responsibility to raise money for this mission.
But today is not metaphysics. Today we meet people. I'm not building a church for abstract reasons. We're building a community. The hope is that we will strengthen the communities from which we come.
So how does that work? Our people can not come here so we have to bring here-there. My task is to show the relationships I have. My task today is to build relationships. I need to make friends.
Perhaps that is a kind of negative romanticizing of poverty. I think true poverty is a lack of choices. Therefore I am rich. Everything I have done is a choice. I choose to follow a call. I chose to come on this trip. Therefore I choose to take the responsibility to raise money for this mission.
But today is not metaphysics. Today we meet people. I'm not building a church for abstract reasons. We're building a community. The hope is that we will strengthen the communities from which we come.
So how does that work? Our people can not come here so we have to bring here-there. My task is to show the relationships I have. My task today is to build relationships. I need to make friends.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
November 3 - continued
Busy day. We spent some time in the office with Bishop Ramos. He showed us some plans and we talked about the diocese and about Ecuador. We met Faustas who helps in the office.
It's cold! We weren't expecting this but we soldier on - and it's raining.
We took a trip and met people at the cathedral. It was built in the 80's and is now in need of repair. Wilfrido shared how he was there with Bishop Arthur Walmsley when it was built in the 80's.
We met Felix, a deacon who is from Tecusa and married to Gladys who is a priest who is also from Tecusa. They showed us the school and offices. There was a little girl who was born in Tecusa who goes to the cathedral school.
I was impressed by the space in the cathedral, and also at the ambition. At one time the school had 200 students. But I was also impressed by the ruin; the neglected and damaged buildings. There were empty rooms and abandoned places. It feels like the cathedral and its buildings are barely holding together. Wilfrido says that there is new leadership, but there are still struggles with old leaders hanging on. Time does not heal all wounds and it seems to take a long time for some things to die.
I feel like Bishop Ramos is tired and overworked. His spirits are good and he jokes about how much he is responsible for. He has to be a builder and a teacher and a pastor. It's all on his shoulders. There is also no doubt that he is ready to enjoy retirement.
Later that day we stopped at a restaurant that is only open on weekends and holidays. You can catch your own fish in the trout pond next door and have it cooked. We opted for the pre-caught variety. Nicely grilled.
The countryside was beautiful - deep gorges and mist and hills. The twisty roads test my constitution. We stopped at the diocesan "finca", or farm. Wilfrido lit up. He grew up on a farm and it showed that he still loves it. Not everyone in our group was too thrilled to be tip-toeing across the fields. We saw vacas and a llama. They also raise pigs and guinea pigs. They have a project to grow "tomatoa trees" (a kind of fruit). They graft the plants onto another plant so that it will produce fruit for thirty years instead of three years.
Wilfrido was full of plans to make the farm a place of retreat - a conference center with a nature trail. I observed that the bishop has to a kind of farmer. You have to grow things. You have to work hard to feed others. Some of what you plant is for a future you will never see. (sounds like every kind of ministry)
We had a long ride home with a little time in the mercado. We got blankets to keep warm. When we got back we met the engineer of the project - Patricio. He explained the scope of the project; the details, costruction, time, cost , people. The big news was that the cost just leapt to $30,000. I'm gratified that everyone there was willing to move ahead but I'm a little worried. From my perspective I feel as if support for this is already pretty soft. I don't know how much more help we can expect.
I've been through a lot today. I feel I can understand Spanish a little, and I'm grateful. Our little party seems to get along. That's good. We'll be able to work together in the future - we'll need to. I'm still mulling over my conversation with Wilfrido. What are we called to do? We're building a church. That's enough for now.
Busy day. We spent some time in the office with Bishop Ramos. He showed us some plans and we talked about the diocese and about Ecuador. We met Faustas who helps in the office.
It's cold! We weren't expecting this but we soldier on - and it's raining.
We took a trip and met people at the cathedral. It was built in the 80's and is now in need of repair. Wilfrido shared how he was there with Bishop Arthur Walmsley when it was built in the 80's.
We met Felix, a deacon who is from Tecusa and married to Gladys who is a priest who is also from Tecusa. They showed us the school and offices. There was a little girl who was born in Tecusa who goes to the cathedral school.
I was impressed by the space in the cathedral, and also at the ambition. At one time the school had 200 students. But I was also impressed by the ruin; the neglected and damaged buildings. There were empty rooms and abandoned places. It feels like the cathedral and its buildings are barely holding together. Wilfrido says that there is new leadership, but there are still struggles with old leaders hanging on. Time does not heal all wounds and it seems to take a long time for some things to die.
I feel like Bishop Ramos is tired and overworked. His spirits are good and he jokes about how much he is responsible for. He has to be a builder and a teacher and a pastor. It's all on his shoulders. There is also no doubt that he is ready to enjoy retirement.
Later that day we stopped at a restaurant that is only open on weekends and holidays. You can catch your own fish in the trout pond next door and have it cooked. We opted for the pre-caught variety. Nicely grilled.
The countryside was beautiful - deep gorges and mist and hills. The twisty roads test my constitution. We stopped at the diocesan "finca", or farm. Wilfrido lit up. He grew up on a farm and it showed that he still loves it. Not everyone in our group was too thrilled to be tip-toeing across the fields. We saw vacas and a llama. They also raise pigs and guinea pigs. They have a project to grow "tomatoa trees" (a kind of fruit). They graft the plants onto another plant so that it will produce fruit for thirty years instead of three years.
Wilfrido was full of plans to make the farm a place of retreat - a conference center with a nature trail. I observed that the bishop has to a kind of farmer. You have to grow things. You have to work hard to feed others. Some of what you plant is for a future you will never see. (sounds like every kind of ministry)
We had a long ride home with a little time in the mercado. We got blankets to keep warm. When we got back we met the engineer of the project - Patricio. He explained the scope of the project; the details, costruction, time, cost , people. The big news was that the cost just leapt to $30,000. I'm gratified that everyone there was willing to move ahead but I'm a little worried. From my perspective I feel as if support for this is already pretty soft. I don't know how much more help we can expect.
I've been through a lot today. I feel I can understand Spanish a little, and I'm grateful. Our little party seems to get along. That's good. We'll be able to work together in the future - we'll need to. I'm still mulling over my conversation with Wilfrido. What are we called to do? We're building a church. That's enough for now.
Nov. 3, Monday
It's some kind of national holiday to celebrate the independence of the third largest city.
I've been thinking about time. Our trip has seemed like a long sprint broken up by periods of waiting, kind of like playing soccer. It seems an apt metaphor for a culture. Leslie remarked how we "hurry-hurry-hurry... wait." We seem to squander our resources without thinking, even the one resource we have that is most limited - our time. We rush into life unaware of who we are or where we are going. No surprise that we don't know what's wrong and we don't know how to fix it.
We're here for mission, to do something, make something, accomplish something. Maybe the best gift is to do nothing. Maybe the most important thing we can do is be mindful. The best gift we can offer is our known selves and to accept the offer of the known other.
It's some kind of national holiday to celebrate the independence of the third largest city.
I've been thinking about time. Our trip has seemed like a long sprint broken up by periods of waiting, kind of like playing soccer. It seems an apt metaphor for a culture. Leslie remarked how we "hurry-hurry-hurry... wait." We seem to squander our resources without thinking, even the one resource we have that is most limited - our time. We rush into life unaware of who we are or where we are going. No surprise that we don't know what's wrong and we don't know how to fix it.
We're here for mission, to do something, make something, accomplish something. Maybe the best gift is to do nothing. Maybe the most important thing we can do is be mindful. The best gift we can offer is our known selves and to accept the offer of the known other.
Friday, November 14, 2008
November 2 - in Quito
I'm continuing my series of entries from my journal.
We have landed in Quito. Margarita's' sister met us at the airport. Javier loaded our luggage on the roof and has driven us to the diocesan center. I was a little worried that I would be overwhelmed by a new culture. So far Quito doesn't look much different than any other central American city I've visited.
Much more hilly!
Bishop Ramos is with us. He will show us around tomorrow. He says that Quito is like a snake. It's 44 km long and 3-8 wide.
Cecily is our cook and hostess. She made us a great dinner even though we ate on the plane - but no comparison. I am not surprised at the hospitality. I'm a little surprised at how much Spanish I have retained. I can't remember tenses, but I can point and gesture when I need to and for now that seems to be enough.
I'm tired and worried about altitude sickness. I hope the coca tea works.
We have landed in Quito. Margarita's' sister met us at the airport. Javier loaded our luggage on the roof and has driven us to the diocesan center. I was a little worried that I would be overwhelmed by a new culture. So far Quito doesn't look much different than any other central American city I've visited.
Much more hilly!
Bishop Ramos is with us. He will show us around tomorrow. He says that Quito is like a snake. It's 44 km long and 3-8 wide.
Cecily is our cook and hostess. She made us a great dinner even though we ate on the plane - but no comparison. I am not surprised at the hospitality. I'm a little surprised at how much Spanish I have retained. I can't remember tenses, but I can point and gesture when I need to and for now that seems to be enough.
I'm tired and worried about altitude sickness. I hope the coca tea works.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tacusa, Ecuador, Mission Trip, 2-6 November 2008
Our ambassadorial trip to the Diocese of Ecuador Central and to the village of Tacusa was interesting and inspiring.
We arrived in Quito Sunday evening, very tired from the flights. Bishop Ramos met us at the airport with his driver, Javier. It was cold and rainy. Javier tied our luggage on top of the bishop's truck, and we went to the Diocesan Center. We had a light supper prepared by Cecilia (the housekeeper at Diocesan Center) and made some arrangements for Monday before we went to bed.
On Monday, Bishop and Mrs. Ramos took us out to the mountains that surround Quito. We had lunch in a small restaurant, dining on trout caught in the lake beside the restaurant. We were a little woozy from the altitude, and the bishop recommended a special tea to relieve the altitude sickness. We went to a mercado in Quito, and got the tea (and some warmer clothing as the weather was chillier than we expected). We met Patricio Ruiz, the engineer who has designed the plans for the church building. He gave us a copy of the plans to bring back.
On Tuesday, Javier drove us out over the Andes to Tacusa. We traveled with Patricio Ruiz and with Reverenda Gladys, a priest of the diocese who grew up in Tacusa. The drive was beautiful and a little frightening: the roads in the mountains are very steep, narrow, and often without guard rails. The drive took over 6 hours because we stopped for lunch. When we arrived in Tacusa, we were immediately struck by its isolation and its poverty. The older homes were wooden shacks, well kept but very poor. The newer homes (sponsored by the government) are made of concrete block, and while they are more sturdy, they are still very small. There is no running water in the town, and the people buy water from a truck that drives by every day. They cook with bottled propane or over a fire. There is no school or medical facility. There is a little tiende (small market). They grow their food and fish.
The people came out to meet us - there are about 60 families and very many children (we met at least 60) living in Tacusa. They were happy to talk with us through our interpreters, and Becky and Leslie gave the children presents and played with them. We spent time with the adults, who were eager to show us the location of the new church. It is in the middle of the village, within sight of the Pacific Ocean. The Diocese has just purchased the land, so it will be easier from a legal point of view to construct a diocesan building there now.
The people told us the story of how the church was ruined by a storm, and of the tidal surge that swept over their village, pulling down houses from the hillside. (I think that this happened during heavy rains in spring 2002 - they are not really precise with dates.) The state government bulldozed the church building last year because it was dangerous. Currently, the people worship outdoors if possible, as there is no building large enough to contain them all for a church service. The priest, Rev. Flavio, lives in Esmeraldas (an hour away) and comes when he is able. He has a lay assistant missioner, Lucas. (This is the usual arrangement for rural areas.)
We were served a magnificent feast of fresh shrimp and fried platanos. The generosity of the people was a bit overwhelming, as they really did not have very much and gave us everything they had for that meal.
The people are very excited about having a church, and they are willing to help with construction. They do not have the means to pay for the materials. The President of the village is a woman named Dolores. She is organized and works with the priest and the families of the village. She asked us three times if we would be returning: in the past, church groups have promised them assistance, and they have not returned. She was very excited about the possibility of sharing a Vacation Bible School when our group returns next summer.
We left Tacusa ever more committed to assisting them in whatever way we can. We talked a great deal that evening about different ways of raising monies for the church project. If we follow building plans, and include two bathrooms, a childcare center and classrooms, the cost will be $30,000 USD, The cost will be less if families in Tacusa assist with construction.
Our time on Wednesday was spent traveling back over the mountains in fog and in a rainstorm. There was a landslide on the road that delayed us. We were quite tired when we got back to the Diocesan Center. We met again that evening with Bishop Ramos and talked about the people of Tacusa and our impression of the feasibility of the work there. The group felt that this project is both possible and necessary. We are all remembering the children of the village and their enormous need. We are thinking that after the building of the church, we would like to assist them in developing a source of water for the village. With the bishop and his calendar, the dates for the trip in 2009 were scheduled: July 22-31. We can work out details after Christmas. We are fairly s=certain that it would not be cost effective (and possibly unhealthy, due to heat and sanitary issues) to send US workers to Ecuador.
We traveled back to the USA on Thursday.
The Rev. Amy Welin - report to the Lower Naugatuck Valley Deanery, Nov. 11, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Leaving for Ecuador
Sunday, November 2
Finally ready to go. After a long drive through a haze of sleepiness, after a long night of packing and preparing, we're finally at the gate waiting for a plane.
So far the trip has consisted of hurrying and waiting. Our whole group is together - and we're polite and agreeable - or maybe we just need coffee. I guess I wasn't afraid that we'd get along. We seemed to get along fine as we met to plan before we left. None of us seem likely to complain and so far we seem to be flexible. Two women from the church in Shelton seem committed to relating what they see to their faith and to their congregation. They bring a commitment to youth and children. I easily get obsessed with issues of organization. They bring me to earth as they look for relationships with youth and ways to connect youth in mission.
My first test today was the opportunity to help a Spanish-speaking traveller find the exit out of the gate area. She couldn't understand a word I said. I pointed and she went that way. My Spanish is so bad! If they can't understand me in New York...
Finally ready to go. After a long drive through a haze of sleepiness, after a long night of packing and preparing, we're finally at the gate waiting for a plane.
So far the trip has consisted of hurrying and waiting. Our whole group is together - and we're polite and agreeable - or maybe we just need coffee. I guess I wasn't afraid that we'd get along. We seemed to get along fine as we met to plan before we left. None of us seem likely to complain and so far we seem to be flexible. Two women from the church in Shelton seem committed to relating what they see to their faith and to their congregation. They bring a commitment to youth and children. I easily get obsessed with issues of organization. They bring me to earth as they look for relationships with youth and ways to connect youth in mission.
My first test today was the opportunity to help a Spanish-speaking traveller find the exit out of the gate area. She couldn't understand a word I said. I pointed and she went that way. My Spanish is so bad! If they can't understand me in New York...
Introduction
I'll begin our reflection by gradually adding excerpts from my journal from our first trip to Ecuador. Our Deanery has begun a partnership with the Diocese of Ecuador Central. Partly, this is through our long friendship with Bishop Wilfrido Ramos, who was our Suffragen Bishop in our diocese. Partly this came about because one of our congregations has a Spanish-speaking service, and some of the members are from Ecuador.
This is not just an exercise in gathering resources to help another people and place. We are entering into a different way of doing ministry and imagining ourselves. The lower Naugatuck Valley has a history of troubles and setbacks. What if we were also a people who looked beyond ourselves and shared some of our resilience and determination? What kind of church would we be?
This is not just an exercise in gathering resources to help another people and place. We are entering into a different way of doing ministry and imagining ourselves. The lower Naugatuck Valley has a history of troubles and setbacks. What if we were also a people who looked beyond ourselves and shared some of our resilience and determination? What kind of church would we be?
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